for the sake of not having to explain everything, we're going to keep this short; i got fired from my job, i'm still not sleeping like a human being and i'm painting again.

I have fallen in lust with automatic writing. I feel like it was made for me and I for something on another planet. Here is a poem that I wrote while indulging.

Clusterfuck Politics

The more absurd my writing is
the more real it is in the world
of surrealism but my reality
is already surreal because I
never really feel like anything happened
and I would really prefer it if people stopped
trying to find meaning in it.
The lighting is usually all wrong
and the dialogue muffled.
I am constantly trying to ask the director
for another take, but he doesn’t answer
because he is a deaf mute with a knack
for spinning in circles to signal yes or no.
I can never keep up with the ticking of his hands
so I’ve stopped staring at his blinking lights.
Perhaps I should leave the critical analysis
to the professionals; the robots who run on
treadmills and caffeine. “Yes sir,
I would like for you to give me a chocolate covered
rabbit with a real dime awkwardly hidden
inside the left ear that you’ve bent in response
to the overcast weather on this lovely
Sunday brunch.”
He didn’t let me keep the dime, but I guess it’s okay
because I needed a quarter anyway
to get a piece of gum. Thinking of which,
I want something to chew on
but my words are terrified of my teeth
because they see the battle wounds of my
strawberry pink cheeks. I wonder
if the little men inside my head ever get tired
of the concussions that come from
banging my head against my steering wheel
while complaining about the horse drawn carriage
taking entirely too long to get out of first gear.
Don’t any of the taxi drivers from
the nineteenth century still exist?
They knew how to get a broad from point A
to needlepoint in no time at all.
I wonder if Woodstock is ever going
to have the same effect as the
Challenger’s demise. Oh no!
It looks like I’m offending the feminists again.
Last time it was over a sandwich that
just didn’t taste like I imagined.
I think I’m over thinking because I’ve been thinking
even though I decided I was over thinking.

Bhut Jolokia? Conquered.

List of Ridiculous Things I Must Do:

1. Tornado Chasing

2. Hurricane Party

3. Midnight Showing in Alaska (When It Doesn't Get Dark)

4. Taste the World's Hottest Pepper (aka Bhut Jolokia, or Ghost Pepper)

...the list is longer. I just forgot where I put it.

i get what i want.

My thoughts are on speed again.

But anyway, I woke up thinking about spaghetti-os [which is odd enough because I was dreaming about numbers [of all things for me to dream about, right?)] and I realized just how deep-rooted my hate for spaghetti-os is. They're nasty! I told a friend they reminded me of ring worms. Covered in ketchup.

Yeah, go ahead and have that for lunch.

i died so i could haunt you.

I've been feeling really good the past three days but that's probably because I've actually slept an insane amount of hours the past three nights. Insane for me, at least.

Anyway, my second job started again and as reluctant as I was to give up every afternoon of the weekday to work, I'm having a lot of fun. Yesterday, during my one on one session with a seven year old, we got into an argument about Mace Windu and Anakin Skywalker while reading a Star Wars comic. I told him that if Mace Windu would have just allowed Anakin to be a Jedi Master then he probably wouldn't have gone to the Dark Side. His reply was "Nu uh! I don't like that. You're wrong. Anakin is a bad guy and Mace Windu is cool...except for his purple light saber. I hate purple." It was adorable. We decided that the best way to settle the argument was to end our session with a game of Marvel Memory Match. He totally kicked my ass too.

I also tutor another little boy who is very high energy and (to be quite honest) leaves me absolutely exhausted after our sessions. Still, he is one of my favourite students. He has only ever responded positively to me and one other tutor and he likes to do something different about every seven minutes. I really have to plan for this kid. It's totally worth it though! He draws me pictures of hearts with wings and halos and signs his name in six year old writing, backwards letters and all. I love it.

So, yeah. That's my life right now. I've been writing a lot, just not on the computer. I don't really sit down at a computer much anymore and I really love writing "the old fashioned way" so it all works out nicely. Perhaps I'll put up one of the poems I've written recently.

Okay. /blog.